That’s what vegetable boy said as soon as I picked up the phone tonight. What a loser! He was so unbelievably excited when he called Me – he had been thinking of humiliating himself all day by shoving a stalk of celery up his ass. There are very few things that I find funnier than listening to vegetable boy nibble on the vegetable he is about to shove up his ass. Why? I really don’t know. Something about that nibble, crunch, crunch cuming through the phone that that sends Me into hysterics every time.
But, VB was a little naughty tonight. I hung up on him once and raised My rate. I knew he was so excited about fucking his stalk of celery that he would call Me back at just about any price. But, loser forgot to leave Me a nice big tip before he called Me back. And, to top it off, I knew that if I hung up on him again to raise My rate that he would squirt before he called Me back.
We just can’t have that. Lol. So, vegetable boy, if you want to see another blog post about all of the utterly ridiculous things that I made you say before you fucked the celery, you had better do something to make it up to Me. You can start with a comment here on My blog.
PS – Does fucking celery make you a stalker? Hahahaha!
you are probably the most pathetic person on the planet
I put a carrot in my butthole after reading this and getting mind fucked Princess 🙁 I feel like such a humiliated loser 🙁