{"id":1387,"date":"2009-06-16T00:27:54","date_gmt":"2009-06-16T04:27:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/?p=1387"},"modified":"2009-06-16T02:36:52","modified_gmt":"2009-06-16T06:36:52","slug":"loser-fuck-celery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/?p=1387","title":{"rendered":"I’m Such A Loser I Need To Fuck Celery!"},"content":{"rendered":"

That’s what vegetable boy<\/a> said as soon as I picked up the phone tonight.\u00a0 What a loser!\u00a0 He was so unbelievably excited when he called Me – he had been thinking of humiliating himself all day by shoving a stalk of celery up his ass.\u00a0 There are very few things that I find funnier than listening to vegetable boy nibble on the vegetable he is about to shove up his ass.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 I really don’t know.\u00a0 Something about that nibble, crunch, crunch cuming through the phone that that sends Me into hysterics every time.<\/p>\n

But, VB was a little naughty tonight.\u00a0 I hung up on him once and raised My rate.\u00a0 I knew he was so excited about fucking his stalk of celery that he would call Me back at just about any price.\u00a0 But, loser forgot to leave Me a nice big tip before he called Me back.\u00a0 And, to top it off, I knew that if I hung up on him again to raise My rate that he would squirt before he called Me back.<\/p>\n

We just can’t have that.\u00a0 Lol.\u00a0 So, vegetable boy, if you want to see another blog post about all of the utterly ridiculous things that I made you say before you fucked the celery, you had better do something to make it up to Me.\u00a0 You can start with a comment here on My blog.<\/p>\n

PS – Does fucking celery make you a stalker?\u00a0 Hahahaha!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That’s what vegetable boy said as soon as I picked up the phone tonight.\u00a0 What a loser!\u00a0 He was so unbelievably excited when he called Me – he had been thinking of humiliating himself all day by shoving a stalk of celery up his ass.\u00a0 There are very few things\u2026 Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,14,78],"tags":[9,89,6],"class_list":["post-1387","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humiliation","category-losers","category-phone-sex","tag-humiliation","tag-losers","tag-phone-sex"],"psp_head":"I'm Such A Loser I Need To Fuck Celery! \u2013 Princess Jewel's Sissy Faggot Blog<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"That's what vegetable boy said as soon as I picked up the phone tonight.\u00a0 What a loser!\u00a0 He was so unbelievably excited when he called Me - he had been thinking of humiliating himself all day by shoving a stalk of celery up his ass.\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index,follow\" \/>\r\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/?p=1387\" \/>\r\n","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1387"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1400,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1387\/revisions\/1400"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1387"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1387"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jewelsfools.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1387"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}